Opening Day Memories

Ahh, Opening Day. It brings back a floodgate of memories. All the home runs I hit, the batters I struck out, the dames I bagged, the booze I drank... it was all wonderful.

Let me tell you about my favorite Opening Day. It was the first game at Yankee Stadium, and I remember every detail like it was the back of my hand yesterday.

I think it was 1923. Maybe 1924, but I think 1923. I guess it was April something, because Opening Days always come in April. Yeah, it was April. There must be a record somewhere where I could look it up.

Anyway, I remember vividly stepping up to the plate for the first time in front of all those fans inside the building that they were already calling The House that Babe Built. The fans went wild. I don't know what I did in that at bat, but the next time I came up, I whallopped a big home run--the first one anyone ever hit at Yankee Stadium. I sure had a flare for the dramatic, don't you think?

I still remember how it felt to smack that jack. I have no idea whether we won the game or not, but that home run off Howard Ehmke is burned into my memory. Every now and then I run into ol' Howie and remind him of that slowball of his that I turned on in 1923 or 1924. He claims not to remember, but I know he does.

You know what else I remember about that day? The gentleman's club where I spent the hours of 8pm till 8am. It was in a red building on 93rd Street. I walked in smoking my cigar and announced boldly that I was going to take care of every lady in the house. And damned if I didn't do it! My two favorites were named Lillian, a lovely blonde, and Mildred, a fiery redhead. I'm not gonna get into any further details because a gentleman doesn't talk, but rest assured that it was the highlight of their day. And my day, except for the home run.

Anyway, I hope all of you have similarly great Opening Day memories. (Though I doubt it.)