Why I got into politics

I first got interested in politics during the 1928 presidential campaign, when I heartily supported Democratic Gov. Al Smith (true story!). I didn't know shit about the issues or personalities, and everybody wondered why I was butting into the race. They probably believed it was because Ol' Al was from New York and I was a Yankee. Others thought it had something to do with Smith's pledge to repeal prohibition.

I assume the election was held in November that year, and I heard later that Al had lost, but I had just won my 6th World Series a few weeks earlier, so I was probably too busy getting bizzay with the ladies to give a damn. Some Republican named Hoobert Heever got elected, caused the Great Depression, and faded into obscurity. Or so I heard.

Enough time has passed that now the true story can be told about how I came to support Al Smith. Here's what went down: A few months before the election, representatives from both the Democrats and Republicans approached me for an endorsement. The Republicans took me out to a standard strip club/speakeasy and plied me with drinks and ladies.

It was looking pretty good for the Repubs until the next night, when the Democrats took me to a bondage-themed Hollywood nightclub, the likes of which I'd never seen before. I was sold! From that moment on, I shouted "Smith in '28!" to whoever would listen.

Now it looks like the tables have turned: it's the Repubs who are wooing donors at bondage-themed Hollywood nightclubs. Michael Steele, you're 82 years late!