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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Here's a headline that makes me cry

Reds better than Yankees for a change

Excuse me? What world am I living in--or rather, what world am I observing? Did the Yankees just NOT win the World Series? Did they just NOT trade for Curt Granderson, making a great team even better?

Yes, they did do those things. And yet they didn't sign this kid Chapman who's supposed to be the hardest-throwing lefty since Herb Score. Who's running the show over in Yankeeland?

Memo to Hank or Hal Steinbrenner: It's worth $31 million just so that we'll never ever see a headline like that again.

If words aren't clear enough, maybe I can explain it in math terms:

Reds < Yankees

Or, to put it another way:

Yankees > Reds

It has always been that way and it will always be that way.

Anyway, this Chapman kid reminds me of another hard-throwing lefty from days gone by. Kid by the name of Ruth. Maybe you've heard of him?

3 comments:

  1. Hi Babe,

    Yeah, they used to spread this kind of b.s. around about us, but who would believe them. As you would say, up their bucket.

    Now, in the spirit of St. Paddy's Day, let me tell you the story that has been going around the bowling alley out here about the local Bishop and one of his priests.

    It seems that the Bishop invited the priest, Father Murphy to dinner one evening. The Father arrived at the appointed hour and was met at the door by the Bishop's housekeeper, a young and comely lassie. The young lady escorted Fr. to the study where the Bishop was waiting. They had a few minutes to chat when the Bishop called the girl in to fetch a whiskey for the two of them. They had several more minutes of sipping the nectar and chit chatting away before the young lady called them to dinner. The meal was lovely and Fr. M. was struck by how attentive this sweet girl was to the Bishop, running here and there, fetching all matters of drinks and courses throughout the evening. Finally, when they had their fill and more, Fr. M. thanked the Bishop for a fine evening, his housekeeper for a lovely meal, and made his way home.

    It was the next day the postman delivered an envelope from the Bishop in which he wrote:

    Dear Fr. Murphy,

    It was a delight to have you in for dinner last evening. I thought our conversation throughout the meal was engaging and covered a variety of topics. However, I feel I must raise a delicate matter. When you left and the chores for the kitchen were complete, I noticed that our sterling silver gravy ladle was nowhere in sight. The housekeeper and I looked high and low and could not turn it up anywhere. We continued searching this morning to no avail. Therefore, I am compelled to say that I am not accusing you of taking the sterling silver gravy ladle or that I am accusing you of taking the sterling silver gravy ladle. However, the fact is that the sterling silver gravy ladle is nowhere to be found and I wonder what you can tell me about that.

    Yours solicitously,

    Signed by the Bishop

    After reading this, Fr. Murphy had to decide how to respond to his superior. Eventually, he sent the following note:

    My dear Bishop,

    It was my pleasure to be your guest the other evening and to share that fine meal. However as to the matter you have raised, I can only say the following. I thought your young housekeeper was unusually attentive to you and catered to your every whim. Then it came to me. Now, I'm not saying that you are sleeping with your lovely housekeeper, and I am not saying that you are not sleeping with your housekeeper. However, if you were sleeping in your own bed last night, you would have found the sterling silver gravy ladle.

    Yours confidentially,

    Fr. Murphy


    Now Babe, I know that you must have faced similar situations, but I bet you were never caught out like the old Bishop was on this one. As for me, I'm ready for the new season to begin and to prove to the league that last season was no flash in the pan. We may have been the best in baseball ever with all those wins and your record setting, but I bet we can do as well against the league again, no matter what Connie says. Of course, we can take anything the other league throws at us in the post season.

    Looking forward to seeing you down south.

    Keed
    ReplyDelete
  2. What an odd tale. From the sound of your story, I gather it must have happened a long time ago, and chances are everybody in it is dead. Therefore, I would like to meet this comely lass. Do you know her name?
    ReplyDelete
  3. Sorry for the delayed response Babe, but you know how sensitive the clergy are about these affairs. After a few sneaky inquiries, I was able to locate the lady. She is Liza Quackenbush and she would die to meet you. She even said she would meet you halfway if you wanted, say at the Excelsior Hotel in Cleveland where we often stay during the season. If you want to contact her, the phone number is Fairfax 2478 in Rosedale. Ask her if she finally located the Bishop's sterling silver gravy ladle.

    Keed
    ReplyDelete

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