Was there a game yesterday?

"Was there a game yesterday?" Don't you hate it when people try to be funny by asking that question after the Super Bowl? As if you think they might be so clueless that they don't know there's a game, apparently so they can laugh at you if it turns out you believe them. Sorry, not funny or clever at all.

In my case, of course I knew there was a game. In fact, I even invited Red Grange "The Galloping Ghost" over to my house to watch it. But I was so hungover from the night before that I didn't even wake up until Grange knocked at my door a few minutes before kickoff.

I'm like, Who the hell is that? And he's like, Babe, it's me Red. What the fuck are you doing here? I'm here to watch the game. What game?

And as soon as I said those words, I knew I had become one of those jokey assholes who thinks it's funny to claim he doesn't know there's a game... only I was speaking the truth!

So anyway, I did watch the Super Bowl with Red Grange, and I gotta tell you, that guy knows nothing about modern football. He kept talking about "the forward pass" as if there is any other kind, and he was complaining that nobody plays two ways anymore, as if that's a recent development. And he was trying to say how Reggie Bush and Joey Adday stole his moves, as if they have any idea who he was or ever saw him on film. Man, that Red Grange sure is full of himself.

Anyhoo, I'm sure you are all totally eager to find out about my 115th birthday party bash, and my conversation with Ted Williams's head. You're going to have to wait a little while. I'm still processing it.

Meantime, check out this new Google ad: